We all make choices. Sometimes the choices pay off; sometimes not. I knew there would be consequences for my choices. I made the choices and can't bring myself to regret on the one hand, because half of my heart is filled with joy and happiness. I love this place and the one I spend most of my time with. That's one hand.
Oh, but the other hand. The other hand hides. It aches and burns to hold what I left behind. It itches to tap out emails and text messages and dial your number... My ears want to hear your voice, my eyes to see your face. Half of my heart empties, and sits cold with regret for pain and confusion caused. It regrets directions taken and feelings hurt.
I love on the one hand and ache that you might believe I choose NOT to love you. It's not an exchange. I can't stop loving you. You are mine; an original, made from a piece of me, with part of my double helix.
October 3rd, 1994. 17 years ago. I remember everything about that day. I remember everything. You don't think I do, but I remember you. Your existence is my great fortune, pretty redhead, with the sharp wit, stubborn nature, and artistic brain. Your smile and grace, your nature... you enchant.
I miss you, love you. infinitely
