Role Model? Can You Just Hit the Damn Ball?

In the aftermath of the cheating crown prince of the PGA, don't you find yourself wondering why we gave a shit?

I loved watching Tiger play golf. I didn't much mind seeing him in Nike, Buick, Tag Heuer, Gatorade, etc ads. I didn't watch Tiger because I was on the edge of my seat, awaiting his take on the virtues of a mid-week religious service for the purpose of maintaining a strong marital foundation. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for him to make an impossible drive, or an impossible putt.

I didn't count on Tiger for spiritual guidance, marital advice, or for f'n directions to the store for that matter. I counted on him to be the magnificient golfer he has become. I don't give a shit what he's doing in his private time and wonder why the hell anyone else does. Is anyone in the country actually expecting him to be an incredible human? He's an incredible athlete! Human? Well, that's questionable and you should be asking yourself why the hell you need him to be human at all.

Hit the damn ball, Tiger. Don't talk to me about anything more than golf or the products you endorse. I'm sorry, were you endorsing marital counseling? No? Good, I wouldn't trust you to give it. Hit the damn ball.